i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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