Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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