Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
