as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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