I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
