those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize