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Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many