This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to