So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate