I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...