...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.