I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
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you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We left the knife in your bed.
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btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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