we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
