I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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