The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
