It's Friday. Sex?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
so much tequila, so little girl.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
