If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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