I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
