He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
