please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
