I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
