this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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