i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just want nice things and good sex
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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