her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
