You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
