Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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