he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
