She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
