Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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