I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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