I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
They took my balls.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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