I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
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You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
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First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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