Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life