I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
