So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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