During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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