just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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