I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
