i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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