She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
