The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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