Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
