he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
