Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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