Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Randomize
