i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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