I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
