I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
