Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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