My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
