The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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