So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
