Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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