Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
