upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
