ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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