I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
