I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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