I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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