Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
