I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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