How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
