I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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