Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
