curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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