So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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