Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
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And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
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The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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