Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
