Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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